Therapy for PANDAS/PANS Parents with Kristy Lane
Why Therapy for PANDAS/PANS Caregivers Matters
Caring for a child with PANDAS or PANS can feel like you’re carrying an invisible weight that others just don’t see. You’re up in the middle of the night Googling symptoms, managing meltdowns, emailing doctors, and trying to convince the school your kid isn’t just being "difficult." It’s exhausting—and isolating.
Why won’t anyone believe you when you say your child suddenly changed overnight? If only you could talk to someone about how hard it was to get your school-refusing child out the door this morning…but who would understand it’s because they were raging so bad you could have sworn they were about to breathe fire?
Let’s be real: most people have never even heard of PANDAS/PANS, let alone understand the toll it takes on your mental and emotional well-being. That’s where therapy comes in. This isn’t just about having a place to talk (although that’s pretty important, too). Therapy is about making space for you in a season where you’ve been pouring every ounce of energy into your child. It’s about finding steady ground when life keeps shifting underneath you.
Together, we’ll dive into emotional regulation, figure out ways to manage that constant undercurrent of anxiety, stress, and frustration, and explore strategies to keep you grounded in the chaos. You deserve to feel supported, resilient, and not just like a caregiver, but as you. We’ll talk through practical tools for self-care, balancing the heavy load, and finding resources that can offer the support you need.
We’ll also talk about the hard things—grief, resentment, fear—and create space for hope, humor, and healing.
what to expect in therapy
Therapy for PANDAS/PANS caregivers isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people prefer individual sessions where they can unpack their experience in a private, focused space. Others find comfort in the shared understanding of group therapy.
In individual sessions, we’ll work on what’s most pressing for you—emotional overwhelm, relationship stress, anxiety, burnout. You’ll gain practical tools for regulating your nervous system, setting boundaries, and rebuilding your identity outside of caregiving.
It’s deep work, but it’s also about reclaiming your own story.
Group therapy, on the other hand, offers something unique: connection. In our PANDAS/PANS caregiver group, you’re not the only one in the (virtual) room who gets it. No need to explain why you know the difference between strep titers and the Cunningham Panel. This group provides solidarity, support, and a space to share both the heartbreak and the humor of this journey.
Recognizing When It’s Time for Therapy as a PANDAS/PANS Parent
You don’t need to be falling apart to ask for help. But maybe you’re noticing signs that something has to give:
You’re always on edge, waiting for the next flare-up or meltdown.
You’ve lost your sense of self in the caregiving fog.
You’re struggling with guilt, frustration, or resentment—and then feeling bad for feeling that way.
You’re avoiding people because it’s too hard to explain what’s going on.
Sound familiar? These aren’t signs that you’re failing. They’re signs that you’re carrying too much, alone. Therapy can help you offload some of that weight and remind you that you matter, too.
My own journey
When my daughter first started showing signs of PANDAS, I had no idea what we were dealing with. The symptoms crept in slowly—emotional outbursts, tics, anxiety, regressions that didn’t make sense. She was misdiagnosed at first, and I had to fight hard to find answers. Eventually we confirmed what I already knew in my gut: it was PANDAS.
A few years later, our foster (now adopted) son developed PANS, and the symptoms came on like a freight train—overnight. Aggression, OCD, bizarre eating habits, mood swings. The heartbreak of watching another child suffer while still trying to keep the rest of life afloat was almost too much.
How could I have two kids with this…who aren’t even biologically related?
It didn’t make sense. We’ve tried everything: meds, supplements, diet changes, surgery. There’s no simple solution. And along the way, I’ve battled isolation, judgment, and a mountain of emotional whiplash. I’ve also learned what it means to find joy in small victories, to laugh in the chaos, and to fiercely protect my own well-being.
That’s why I do this work.
PANDAS/PANS Group Therapy
This is for the parent who’s been holding it together with duct tape and sheer will. The one Googling symptoms at midnight, juggling doctor visits, managing flares, and wondering, “Is it just us? Are we the only ones going through this?” You’re not.
This virtual support group is for Texas parents walking through the chaos, confusion, and heartbreak of raising a child with PANDAS or PANS. It’s a place to exhale. To be with other parents who get it without you having to explain every detail. We'll meet once a week, share what’s real, learn a few tools that actually help, and remind each other we’re doing the best we can with something that’s incredibly hard.
And while your days are filled with caring for your child, this group is just for you. For your heart, your well-being, and your capacity to keep showing up.
It’s more affordable than one-on-one therapy, though it won’t go quite as deep. But it will offer connection, validation, and a soft place to land—something that’s hard to come by when your world feels upside down.
If your heart whispered yes, reach out to secure your spot. I’ll fill you in on the details and we’ll have a quick chat to make sure it’s the right fit.